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5 Reasons Dating Sites For Affair Work: It's Not What You Think

There are many misconceptions about dating sites. But there are also an equal number of misconceptions about why men or women choose to have affairs. The common reasons – for sex, boredom, excitement – are made prevalent by media outlets but don’t necessarily paint a complete picture.

Blond woman getting undressed by a man at work
Affairs make women find themselves re-awakened and in a "Sexploration" phase.

In fact, many people who choose to use dating sites to find partners for an affair do so because the platform gives them a sense of discretion and ease of finding each other without getting into risky situations. Many women who are lonely but have a voracious sexual appetite want to use dating sites to have affairs because they would otherwise feel too scared or find it too overwhelming to find a partner.

These 5 reasons illuminate how and why dating sites are the preferred choice of women choosing to have affairs today.

1. Intimacy

While it is true that more mature women have hit their sexual prime and so their libidos skyrocket, even younger women are using dating sites to find potential partners. In many cases, these are either single or divorced women or are women who essentially feel alone and invisible in their own marriages.

Dating sites allow these lonely wives to form a connection with a partner (or more, if she so chooses) who will give her something that is perhaps severely lacking in her own marriage or relationship: companionship, presence and intimacy.

Using a dating site allows women to chat with their potential matches first, get to know them and only then exchange numbers, if she feels safe. In this case, having a screen between the two people means you get to “screen” each other out and actually makes for safe communication. You can understand intimate details about your matches before ever meeting.

Women say this helps heighten their experience of intimacy if and when they do choose to meet in person.

2. Sexploration

For many women who have married early or who have been in long-term relationships for way too long, using a dating site to have an affair is the best way to get back to themselves and explore sexually. They not only are able to find a hook-up or partner (whatever they so wish) quickly, they can also continue to see the same person in order to explore their own desires.

It is often through their partners and these affairs that women find themselves re-awakened to their own lives and their own bodies. “Sexploration” in a safe and sex-positive space spills over in to the rest of their lives and they find themselves making better decisions, feeling better about themselves and are able to ask their partner for what they want without fear of being judged.

3. Keeping The Family Together

Because dating platforms give the control back to women, who can choose how men approach them, what kinds of men, and whether they even communicate at all, they use dating sites for an affair in order to keep their family together.

Discretion is always the need of the hour when having an affair and many women don’t want their partners to find out. At the same time, having an extra-marital affair is essential to keeping their sanity in their “regular” marriages. They often stay with their husbands for the sake of the kids – but that doesn’t mean they won’t work get their emotional and physical needs met.

4. Greenback Boogie

Another reason women use dating sites for affairs are beyond simple pleasures. The truth is that money and financial independence can be a huge determining factor (and turn on!) for many women who are looking for partners to have an affair with.

Using a dating platform means women can search for partners using more than simply location or age. They can even use education levels or stated income levels to get matches that indicate a higher earning ability.

Why is this relevant to women? Well, besides the sense of excitement some women get at the thought of being “taken care of” by a financially powerful partner, they could also be staying in their current marriages for financial reasons.

Either they are unable to get out because they are financially bound to their partners or they are too dependent on them in the first place. In having an affair with a financially independent partner, they can gain a sense of freedom that is otherwise missing in their lives.

5. One Ring To Rule Them All?

Women who use dating sites for affairs, whether it's a one-time fling or a sustained (and secret!) interest, know that they are essentially there because they get to experience something that might never happen in their "regular" lives.

These women know that their marriage cannot often withstand the pressure of being everything to them. Even if there is a lot of love in the relationship, these women have come to realize that a marriage cannot be all things to one or both people in the marriage.

Safety First

The best part about dating sites, you would think, would be the ease of setting up a profile or the instantaneous nature of being able to view hundreds of potential partners in your area.

But, in truth, for women, it's the ability to communicate with potential partners without feeling threatened. They can put more than simply their desires first. They can also privilege their safety by choosing who to respond to and be with.

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