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How to Know If You're Ready to Start Cheating in a Relationship

Having an affair is a serious business. OK, from one perspective it's all about sexual pleasure, excitement and thrills. But affairs can also be a source of stress and fear. Most of the time, when we cheat on people, we don't intend to be found out.

hot brunette ready for cheting in a relationship
Are you ready for starting an affair?

In fact, we'd be horrified if our sexual adventures became known.

So people need to know if they are ready to embark on an extra-marital affair. This handy guide will help you assess whether the feelings you are experiencing point towards cheating or sticking around and making things work.

Affairs aren't for everyone, so read on and think hard. You might not have what it takes.

Pay Attention to the Way You Feel About Your Partner

Above all else, you'll only know if you are ready for an affair by listening to your heart. At the moment, you're with someone you once loved. If you hadn't, why would you have married or moved in together?

So there must have been a flicker of passion, and it might still be there.

The key difference to remember is between a couple who are "in love", and mesmerized by each other's company, and two people who simply "love" each other, which usually means that they have a deep affection - and doesn't have to be anything more.

If you have lost that crucial connection, you may be ready to move on. Having an affair could be the only way to find the companionship that you require, and sticking around won't necessarily do either of you any good.

Anger is Replacing Cooperation in Your Relationship

People who are getting ready to cheat on their partners also tend to become frustrated, and with good reason. Every day, they feel trapped in a relationship which has been transformed from a liberating experience into a prison.

So they start to lash out, sometimes violently.

Most often, this is expressed in a slow boiling anger, as stray words which hurt your partner, or as a sullen resistance to their suggestions. If you've found yourself becoming like this, an affair could be the way to let off steam and restore your natural personality.

handsome man cheating in the relationship
Cheating on your partner requires mastery

Or it could be a way to open the exit door from a toxic relationship. Either way, it could be a good move.

You Spend More Time with Your Friends, and Talk About Sex

Often, people who are about to seek discreet sex outside their marriage start to spend more time with friends, and less time with their partner. This kind of "drifting apart" process is all-too-common, and it can last for years.

You might have started to hit the bars with mates, and you'll probably notice that the conversations can get pretty heated. They may well be in exactly the same situation as you, and it's common for there to be more than one cheater in friendship groups.

When one guy is bold enough to cheat, it's a green light for others.

PRO-TIP: Help to Make it Through

Try to chat about sex. Bring it up, talk about whether great sex and monogamy go together. And discuss whether your current partners are right for you, in a sexual sense. It's a good way for guys to find out whether they are in the right relationship, or whether they need an out.

When Communication Breaks Down, Affairs Begin

Another warning sign that you're ready to start cheating is when the lines of communication break down within relationships. When you fall in love with someone, you create a common, private language.


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There are things that only you talk about, and words that mean much more to both of you than outsiders can ever know.

Another good pro-tip is to pay attention to the way you communicate. Bring back the phrases and words which helped to create your initial passion and bonded you together.

If they just seem stale or absurd, you probably won't resurrect the way you used to communicate. And without that private language, love isn't usually part of the picture.

couple cheating in their relationships
An affair might be approaching on the horizon.

Excessive Devotion can Sometimes be a Danger Sign

Finally, becoming excessively concerned about your current partner can actually be a warning sign that things aren't right. This might sound strange, but it's totally true. Here's why:

If people become bored and think about cheating, they tend to rebel. They don't want to hurt the one they are with, and they don't want to look like the bad guy.

So they go too far in the other direction, trying to hide their feelings, or artificially recreate the magic that kickstarted their love.

PRO-TIP: When is it the Right Time?

When things start to seem forced and you find yourself behaving like this, take some time to think: is this really you, are is it your subconscious telling you to start an affair?

Keep all of these things in mind, as they can all signify that an affair is on the horizon. But always put things in perspective. At the end of the day, starting an affair is a private decision, and only you'll know when the time has come.

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